Caring for Kids is a monthly article series by early childhood education experts in Child and Family Care and Children’s Centers.
Navigating early friendships can be one of the most rewarding—and sometimes challenging—milestones of your child's early years. You might see your child happily playing alongside a playmate one day, and struggling with sharing or saying "You're not my friend!" the next. As a parent or caregiver, it is completely natural to wonder how to guide these early social interactions with care, patience, and confidence.
In early childhood, learning how to connect with others is an active process. Young children are still developing impulse control, empathy, and the communication skills needed to negotiate shared play. With warm guidance and responsive support from you at home, you can help your child lay a strong, positive foundation for healthy lifelong relationships.
The Foundation of Early Relationships
Building friendship skills begins with the safe, consistent relationships children experience every day at home and in child care settings. When children feel secure, they feel empowered to explore social connections, experiment with peer interactions, and learn how to manage social conflict when it arises.
"Supporting the development of relationships rests on two foundations: secure early bonds at home and in care settings, and learning to navigate different types of interactions," says Christine Snyder, PhD, director of U-M Child and Family Care. "Over time, children learn to distinguish among strangers, acquaintances, peers, casual friends, and close friends—a foundation that shapes how they later navigate adult relationships with neighbors, colleagues, and partners. Adults play a vital role by modeling appropriate social interactions, providing varied social experiences, honoring a child's natural temperament, and offering responsive support during social conflicts."
Practical Tips to Support Your Child’s Social Journey
You don't need complicated lessons to teach social skills—everyday moments offer rich opportunities for learning. Here are simple, expert-backed strategies you can use to encourage healthy friendships and support your child through challenging social behaviors:
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Model Turn-Taking and Sharing at Home: Practice cooperative play during everyday routines. Take turns putting away toys during clean-up time, or alternate flipping pages during bedtime reading. This helps children experience turn-taking as a positive, loving interaction.
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Prepare for Playdates Thoughtfully: Before friends arrive, invite your child to choose a few special items to set aside in a designated space. Having a safe set of personal items helps ease anxiety, making it easier for your child to share open-ended toys like blocks or playdough.
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Coach Social Problem-Solving: When conflict inevitably pops up over a popular toy, resist the urge to act immediately as a referee. Instead, validate their feelings and invite them into the solution: "We have two friends and one red truck. What plan can we make together so both of you get a turn?"
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Honor Your Child's Natural Temperament: Respect whether your child naturally leaps into big groups or prefers to observe from the sidelines first. Offer warm encouragement without pressure, allowing your child to warm up to new settings at their own comfortable pace.
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Guide Relational Exclusions Gently: If you hear phrases like "You can't play with us," address the behavior calmly and away from peers. Help your child build empathy by asking how those words might feel to a friend, and suggest inclusive alternatives such as "Let's see where our friend can fit into our game."
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Keep Playtime Manageable: For younger children, structure playdates around shorter timeframes (such as 60 to 90 minutes) with 1 or 2 peers. Ending play dates on a positive note before fatigue sets in leaves children feeling happy and successful.
Moving Forward Together
Remember that learning how to be a good friend takes time, practice, and plenty of gentle repetition. By remaining a patient, responsive anchor for your child, you are giving them the emotional tools they need to flourish in their early social world and beyond. University Human Resources is always here to support your family as you care for your growing child!
