Grief & Loss:
Guidelines for Co-Workers
When Co-workers Experience a Serious Personal Loss
- Expect tears and sadness.
- Be open, personal and timely in your expression of sympathy.
- Expect to listen to the story of the grieving staff member more than once.
- Respect privacy. Honor closed doors and quiet moments.
- Offer to provide specific and appropriate assistance (e.g., baby-sitting, meals).
- Include co-worker in social plans.
- Accept less than best performance for a while, but expect a return to the best. They need to know that you recognize the impact of their loss, but that you have confidence in them.
When a Co-worker Is Seriously Ill
- Keep in contact. Let them know she or he is still part of the team.
- Learn what can be shared and what is confidential.
- Organize a system of calls, notes, and other gestures of support.
When a Co-worker Dies
- Seek an opportunity to share your feelings with other workers and for them to share theirs with you.
- Be prepared to offer more support to those who were particularly close with the deceased.
- If appropriate, choose a fellow worker to serve as liaison with the family and organize the expression of sympathy flowers, card, donation, etc.
What To Do if You Suffer a Significant Loss
- Accept that grief is normal and healing takes time.
- Anticipate that feelings of overwhelming sadness will recur after the period of intense grief is over. Special times might include holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays.
- Realize that others are uncomfortable and inexperienced at dealing with grief, and be prepared to ask for what you need.
- Share your feelings with friends and family.
- If necessary, talk with your supervisor about a temporary adjustment in work hours or work load.
- Ask about the policy on bereavement leave and ask for additional leave if needed.
- If you require emotional support and assistance contact FASAP, EAP, or another professional counseling service. See the Where to Go for Help section of this website for resources.
If the Situation Involves Downsizing or Restructuring at Work
- Acknowledge your feelings of anger, disappointment or loss.
- Share your feelings with family, friends, and co-workers.
- Learn about University policies regarding transfers, replacements, and rehiring.
- If necessary, seek advice from the employment and personnel representatives for your department.
